Hello everyone. I’m back! (Did you miss me? :P) This isn’t a “New year, new me” post, so don’t worry. I don’t believe in that. I believe that when you feel like changing, go ahead and change. Our lives are our own, and we don’t need to conform to this flawed social structure that has been placed before us.
However, despite not believing in the modern tradition, it does strangely coincide with some thoughts that I have been having. In the wake of my cognitive therapy being somewhat successful, I feel a need to change. But maybe change isn’t the right word. I feel like I have kept a part of me hidden for a long time. A part that’s ambitious, intelligent and confident. A part that has a voice and isn’t easily overshadowed. I have kept this part hidden in fear of judgment and confrontation. I have kept this part hidden to even avoid success. I have dumbed myself down, quietened my voice and avoided, all to remain hidden among the crowds.
But this year, this year I will push that part of me to the surface. I have felt it emerging more and more every day for a while now. Like a spark igniting a fire within me. This year, I will not change, I will become the person that I am supposed to be. One that’s not held back by fear, judgment or conformity. I will be me.
I have many plans for this year. Plans that will push me and challenge me. Plans that may succeed or fail, but there’s only one way to find out. Try. I want to find opportunities that involve interacting with people. I want to take up hobbies that I once abandoned due to my anxiety. I want to put out more of my writing for the world to read, despite my self-doubt. I want to change simple things, like holding my head up high when I walk and talking to someone when I have a problem.
I woke up new years day feeling positive. More positive than I have in a long time. I may not need to unleash the real me, but I want to, and that, is a step forward.
I guess that there’s a message here, for all to take advantage of. Your life is yours. Take control. But not when the media tells you too. Not when a stranger tells you to. Take control when you feel you can. When you have the strength to. The power is there, you just need to access it. Grasp it. Wield it. Be you.
I think that this was just another one of those posts that I felt compelled to write. A concoction of thoughts ready to explode. I hope that you all had a great New Year’s Eve (I spent mine sleeping)! I have loads of exciting writing projects planned for this year, so stay tuned! Thank you all for reading!